On August 20th 2021, I (Jasmine Dunlap) lost two of my best friends Deja Noel and Rella Norey in a car accident after we left a bar partying for Deja‘s Birthday. My heart was extremely broken and I blamed myself. Why? Because I drove separately this day, and wasn't the designated driver like I’ve always been when we go out since high school. This particular day I had something to do prior to hanging out that threw my energy off, so I told them I will meet them at the location Deja chose to celebrate her birthday at. When we left they were suppose to follow me to my house so that Deja could stay with and Rella could get in her car (They both lived far apart from one another so they chose to meet up outside of my house to park and get in one vehicle earlier that day). As I turned the corner and looked back I did not see them behind me. I kept calling and got no answer. I assumed Rella decided that she will just drive home and take Deja with her house and they will come back to my house later to get the other car after getting some sleep. The thought of her rerouting to go home wasn’t unusual because she had a fiance to go home too. So I figured their gps took them a different route so she could go home. I called again when I got home and still no answer. Yet with us having such a good time as we always do we will go right home and get in the bed and communicate with the world the following day after recooperating. I woke up at around 6am to missed calls from Rella’s mother and that’s when my heart shattered. Who knew that would be our last memory together once we left that bar.

I was going through complicated grief, in which had me trauma bonding with females and once I felt like we had things in common, weather it was good or bad, I was attaching myself to the idea that I could have the same level of friendships I had with Deja and Rella. I was trying to replicate those friendships. I dreamed of them many times. In those dreams I was able to hug, talk, and hang out with them. Therefore, I felt like I was still close to them. I would yearn to go to sleep hoping for another dream so I can stay continue our friendships. I also thought about death so much. Daily the questions “If I died tomorrow what would I leave my child.” “If I died tomorrow how did I spend today, what did I accomplish.” “What am I going to do in life to leave my mark if I died tomorrow?” Years went by and I felt like I failed myself and my child. I created no legacy for her to remember me by or benefit from If I lost my life. I was so depressed trying to discover who I was, to feel whole, to have fun, to find my purpose, while also trying to continue being a super mom to my daughter.

In June of 2024 I came up with a television series idea to show a visual of how dancing impacted my life during my time of grieving. As I brainstormed a cause and effect for television purposes it came to me that I need to tell a story about different versions of grief. As I start to do my research I became really interested in the topic. After gaining insight on the topic of grief, I decided I wanted to become an advocate. Remedyy mini series and Remedyy Foundation is dedicated to that.

-Jasmine Dunlap